ATTITUDE IS A LITTLE THING THAT MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE. ~
Winston Churchill




Friday, February 13, 2009

A Very Long Day

Last night was my Dad's viewing and today was his funeral. I don't even know how many people I've talked to, hugged and cried with in the last two days. It's been both comforting and exhausting. My father has touched many, many lives and so many people came to express their condolences at his passing. Dad would have been pleased to have so many friends and family around and I think he's happy with how things turned out today. We were blessed with a break in the bad weather. It was sunny and calm - a fitting day for Dad. My emotions have changed so often over the last four days - Ok one moment and then not the next. These constant changing emotions have been so hard to deal with.

In trying to prepare for our talks, my sisters got together and I tried to remember as much as we could about Dad. That's one thing I didn't know about grieving. Your brain blocks your memories for a little while (probably as a defense mechanism) and it's hard to remember anything. The other thing I didn't expect is the physical impact losing my father would have on me. I knew about the emotional aspect, but I didn't realize how hard it is on you physically to lose someone close to you. Some days it's been all I could do just to drag myself out of bed to face the day - I've been dealing with terrible back aches and headaches. And eating has been a hard thing to do - I've either had stomach aches or felt nauseous when I've eaten.

Now that the funeral is over, I'll be spending some time at home this weekend just trying to absorb all that's happened this past week and giving my body a much needed rest. I'm so grateful for family and for the gospel. We may be sad at our loss, but we also know that Dad is in a great place and that he is happy. He's been reunited with his parents and one of his best friend who passed away several years ago. I'm sure he's also helping to prepare his soon to be new great-grandson for his trip to earth in April. So even though we are all sad for us, we take comfort in knowing that Dad is happy and has probably already started on his next mission.

Things I am Thankful for:
All of the prayers on our behalf. The love and support of our friends and family. My beautiful little boy who makes me smile when I feel like crying. My kind and loving husband who has been so strong and supportive. My brothers and sisters and their spouses- this has been so terribly hard but would have been unbearable without all of their love and support. My wonderful and loving parents who have blessed my life more than they know.

1 comment:

Jamie said...

Hi Holly. It's Jamie (Schroeppel) Gillman. I pop in on you from time to time to see how things are going. I'm so very sorry about your dad. I can understand you feeling like a little girl again and wanting your dad. Losing parents is the thing we never want to face, but we know is inevitable. I hope this time for you gets easier. I also loved your previous post about your love for being a mother. You said it perfectly. You are a great mother. Thank you for your example. Hang in there, and I hope there are happier days ahead for you. :)
-Jamie